Mistresses are nothing more than parasites.
According to Wikipedia:
Parasite: Parasites increase their fitness by exploiting hosts for resources necessary for the parasite’s survival, e.g. food, water, heat, habitat, and genetic dispersion. (Read: Mistresses look for, and cling to men (hosts) who have the ability to provide them with resources, money, status, etc…)
Parasitism: A type of relationship between organisms…where one organism, the parasite, benefits at the expense of the other, the host (Read: Where the mistress benefits from having a hot relationship with a man she doesn’t have to cook for, clean up after, care for, bear children for, budget finances with, and who will always be extra fun and way more super-awesome than the wife….until he screws her over by not making her number 1, and then she will suck him dry, sinking her teeth in, draining him of any money, self esteem, energy, well-being, and sanity he has left…and she will tell the wife.
“In some cases, a parasite species may coevolve with its host taxa. Long-term coevolution sometimes leads to a relatively stable relationship tending to commensalism or mutualism, as, all else being equal, it is in the evolutionary interest of the parasite that its host thrives.” (Read: although it isn’t rare, in some rare cases, a relationship with a mistress, bourne of infidelity can sometimes survive, but not usually. In any case, regardless of whether it ultimately works out or not, it is in the mistress’ best interest to not beat the married man down too much. After all, she needs every resource he has. So she won’t threaten to tell the wife right away. Instead, she will continue to play the game, disguising herself as ‘everything good’, and waiting until she can get enough dirt on him to make it uncomfortable for him to change his mind. She doesn’t want to show her bitch-side too soon…for it could compromise her access to his resources (money, status).
“Some qualities of the parasite: Parasites evolve in response to the defense mechanisms of their hosts. As a result of host defenses, some parasites evolve adaptations that are specific to a particular host.” (Read: “Omg, you like running? That is such a coincidence, cause I LOOOOOVE running. In fact, I am like super fast at running, and really fit, in case you can’t tell, can I show you how fit I am?”…”Oh wait, you said you DON’T like running??…oh yeah, me neither…it sucks”.
“Parasites employ numerous strategies for getting from one host to another, a process sometimes referred to as parasite transmission or colonization” (Read: When things fall through with sugar daddy #1, there will always be another sugar daddy who will fall for your ridiculous schemes, so polish those skillz.)
My husband went to work on Wednesday, like any other day. Except when he returned from work he says to me “You know how when we were at Anne & Brian Bercht’s seminar , we were told that we should tell each other when something happens, no matter how small?….well I was propositioned today”.
Seriously?? What the hell. Again? This is the
second third time SINCE I found out about the affair that someone has propositioned my husband. The first was a woman who attended his work as an affliliate from another organization, interested in learning the ways his office operates. At the end of the meeting, she showered him with compliments, gushed all over him about how smart and successful he is, and the asked if they could have lunch one day. He politely told her no. I almost called her up and gave her a piece of my mind….but then didn’t.
The second time, it was a client of his office, who he noticed dresses very provocatively whenever she comes in to see him. He started getting a weird vibe, thanks to some insight and training from Brian Bercht, he quickly assessed the situation for what it *could* become, and immediately transferred her to another colleague. She was quite annoyed, which only confirmed his suspicions.
This third time, happened on Wednesday. A colleague in his department who works on a casual basis approached him at work. She hadn’t seem him in a while, and when he asked her how she was, she replied that she was simply “okay”, and was going through a hard time as she was in the midst of a breakup with a boyfriend. He expressed his sympathy, and the conversation changed course a little. A little while later, she approached again, as their paths crossed, and asked “Can I ask you a personal question?”. “Of course”, he replied. “How old are you?” “I’m 43, he replied”. “See? I should totally go for older men. I am obviously way more attracted to older men. I shouldn’t have wasted my time with this guy…..”. They parted ways, and my husband went about his business. When the opportunity came up, and they were once again alone, she says “You MUST have known this whole time, right?” , to which he politely told her “I am flattered. But, I really like your idea about moving downtown to meet some older men and try relating to them”, and then found a reason to distance himself from her. He came and told me immediately.
When he told me, I was at first shrugging it off, like yet another little comment made, but then this has too many similarities to the WHORE and I was having transference. I immediately found my blood pressure rising, my heart rate accelerating, while I desperately tried to keep calm and not let it show that I was bothered, so that I could hear the rest of the story. He finished his story, and I politely asked him her name. He told me. I excused myself, and called his office, asking for the person in question. Luckily for me, it was her who answered the phone.
“Is this ________?”, I asked.
“Yes it is”, she replied.
“Well you may want to think long and hard before you come on to a happily married man”
(Scoffing) “Who the HELL is THIS?”, she replied, obviously uncomfortable.
“Consider this your warning”, I replied, and then hung up.
I returned downstairs without any indication for what I had just done. It hadn’t sunken in yet. I was still completely on adrenaline, and needed to calm down, so I busied myself with laundry. My hands were shaking and I probably could have run the 50m in under 8 seconds….*fast for me*). I intended to tell him once the kids weren’t around, as I thought he might be upset that I’d taken such a brash action towards one of his colleagues, and possibly compromised him from a work standpoint. Once the kids were in bed though, I’d gotten myself so worked up about he might be mad, that I didn’t want to tell him. I was trying to think of good reasons why he DIDN’T need to know…and justify my secret, but then worried that she would tell him, etc.
Within minutes of my call, she emailed him secretly and asked him whether he had possibly “told anyone” about their conversation…she was obviously bugged. Good. She emailed again the next morning to tell him she’d received a threatening phone call. He replied that he knew nothing about it, but that he found her proposition highly inappropriate, and reiterated that he is happily married and won’t tolerate behaviour like that in the future (he is in charge at the office, so he kind of sets the tone…). She then quickly backtracked and told him he must be mistaken in thinking that she ever propositioned him….(you know, the same old passive aggressive garbage these girls play)
There will be no further communication between she and my husband. I think she is sufficiently uncomfortable now.
It just speaks to how common these women are, and how little they care about whether a man is married or not. She has her eye on the prize, and the wife is just a mere hurdle in the race to the finish. Just step over her, run faster, and claim your prize. No harm, no foul…..
Now the real question remains as to whether my husband will dare tell me any of these occurrences in the future, knowing that I can easily be thrown off the handle….I hope so :)