When the affair partner is pregnant: FREE teleseminar tonight


By now, if you are a regular reader of this blog, you will know that I often mention, and provide as a resource Anne Bercht and the Passionate Life seminars provided through the Beyond Affairs Network to help betrayed spouses and couples healing from the devastation of an affair. Anne wrote the book “My husband’s affair became the best thing that ever happened to me”.

On a regular basis, Anne makes herself available for a one hour complementary teleseminar where listeners can dial-in, participate if they wish, and gain new insights into a particular topic around affair recovery.

Tonight’s teleseminar deals with the double devastation of learning that a child has been conceived from the affair.

The following content comes from Anne’s newsletter and provides the details for how to listen and participate.

WHEN THE AFFAIR PARTNER IS PREGNANT

Here’s a relevant excerpt from my book, “My Husband’s
Affair Became the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me.”

“Dave then proceeded to tell me that the other woman might be
pregnant with Brian’s child. That thought horrified me.


“The thought was overwhelming. I didn’t want to hurt an innocent
child, but I just didn’t see how I could possibly stand Brian
being tied to this horrible woman through a baby, who would be a
half sibling to my own babies. It would mean he would have to be
forever tied to this woman whom I considered to be a whore. It
would mean I would have to deal with her, and deal with her child
who, although innocent, would stand as a permanent reminder to the
most painful experience in my life.
It wasn’t fair.

“If she is pregnant, Brian will have to contribute financially
to the child,” Dave was now saying. I choked on the lump that
was growing in my throat, and did not answer him. “That will
significantly impact your financial situation as a family. As
Christians it’s important that we take responsibility for
things like this.”

“I felt like throwing up. I wasn’t interested in being a
Christian right now, yet I believed in God, and I dared not throw
away my faith at a time when I knew I needed God more than ever. I
thought I might have to leave Brian for sure, if there were a child
to deal with.”

End of excerpt from “My Husband’s Affair Became the Best
Thing That Ever Happened to Me.”

Dealing with a child from an affair is very difficult and painful.
Affair recovery is difficult and painful even without that extra
burden. Sadly, it’s an all too common situation in today’s world.
All are welcome to join our teleseminar tonight. Dial in info below.

SESSION #8 OF OUR 12-WEEK AFFAIR RECOVERY SERIES TONIGHT

Topic: When there is a child from an affair
Date: Wednesday, August 27, 2014
Time: 6:30 pm pacific/7:30 pm mountain/8:30 pm central/9:30 pm
eastern
To join call: 1-857-232-0300
Access Code: 688685#
Note: If joining, please be sure and read the teleseminar etiquette
guidelines below!

MARK YOUR CALENDAR FOR THESE REMAINING SESSIONS!

September 3 – What are you going to do when you’re in love with
your affair partner?

September 10 – Is it time to cut your losses?

September 24 – What if you might be facing a divorce?

October 1 – How do you get him to talk?

TO LISTEN TO PAST SESSIONS

Click on the link below:

http://clicks.aweber.com/y/ct/?l=DJqoA&m=JlDB4vSjLcZWqX&b=lsb.vFnebDEkKei5mOJYuA

TELESEMINAR ETIQUETTE

While the teleseminar service will prompt you to state your name as
you join this is not necessary. We prefer you just listen until
opportunity is given for asking questions.
You may remain anonymous by not speaking if you prefer, by using
your first name only, or by using an alias first name when asking a
question – just something we can identify you by.
You’re dialing a USA telephone number and your long
distance phone charges are your own responsibility.

Please avoid the use of cell phones as these can cause an echo that
makes it difficult for others to hear. It’s best to call in
with a
landline. Even cordless phones tend to cause an echo. Background
noise that can’t be heard on a two-person call becomes
amplified on
a multi-line teleconference.

If cell phones are your only source of accessing the call then you
may give it a try, if it becomes a problem we will let you know.

During times when we open the seminar up for questions, if you
press *6 to be heard, please be considerate and eliminate all
background noise first such as
(music, dog barking, children, etc.) as this would be distracting
for everyone else on the call.

When we open up for questions/answers, you can press *6 to unmute
your line and be heard. After your question has been answered,
please press *6 again to mute your line after your contribution.

Please do not put your phone on hold, especially if it plays music
when doing so. This would end the call for everyone else (all
we’d
hear is your music).

This teleseminar will be recorded and you will be asked to indicate
you agree to this when you log onto the call.

We are looking forward to helping you!

Passionate Life Seminars, USA Office: 8842 Goldeneye Lane, Blaine, WA 98230 Phone: 360-306-3367

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Comments

  1. Hi there RMM. I hope you are well. I’m not sure if you keep this blog going anymore but I thought I’d take the chance and reach out to you. You are a gifted writer and I can’t thank you enough for making this blog. As cathartic as it must be, I imagine it has probably also been very painful for you to relive the many aspects of betrayal. I think it’s a testament to the superb quality of your writing, the sheer honesty when offering up your own pain as a way to help others, that your blog resonates with so many people, even those of us like myself who are not sure that reconciliation is even possible.
    My intention today was to ask your advice and opinion (and indeed the opinions of your many followers who have also provided me with comfort by sharing their stories too) Before I ask my question please let me clarify that my feelings pertain to my own situation and mine alone, I do not seek to undermine the tough work that you and other BS have done to repair your marriages. I applaud you all and pledge to you my complete support and best wishes. But every story of infidelity is different, we all must do what is best for ourselves and not worry about what society THINKS we should do.
    So here goes; My beloved husband of 9 years (we have 3 beautiful children too) cheated on me. I don’t wish to bore everyone with the whole sorry saga, in a nutshell he was my everything, I honestly believed we were soul mates. I’m sincere when I say our marriage was amazing, I genuinely don’t feel like I’m looking back through rose tinted glasses (my husband also agrees that we were blissfully happy) This only makes it harder to accept that he would go on a boys night out and fuck a disgusting local tramp in the bathroom of a nightclub (as his friends ‘cheered him on’) To say that I’m devastated is the understatement of the century. Consumed with guilt and self-loathing, my husband confessed to me the next day. I imagine I would have soon found out anyway because he did it in a local club in our home town where everyone knows us! The humiliation I feel is beyond any pain I have ever felt before. My husband has been close to suicide with his remorse. He is saying and doing all the right things, he was checked for STDs, attends counselling, bombards me with flowers and love letters, begs me a hundred times a day to give him another chance. I loved him so much, and now when I look at him I no longer see the wonderful man that I fell in love with, I see the cause of the worst pain I’ve ever had inflicted upon me. It is tainted and dirty and I don’t want it anymore. We are three months past DD, and I still feel such anger towards him. I moved out with our children the next day, and left him sobbing on the floor. Is it wrong that I feel no compassion for him? Should I still be this angry? He says he will never stop fighting to win me back, but I am certain of divorce. I don’t feel that I’m acting hastily, I just know myself well enough to know that I would never get over it. I don’t want to be with someone I can’t trust. I feel like I have a limited support network, someone said to me that I should be grateful it was only a one-night stand and not a full blown affair! This flippant remark infuriated me! Who is in a position to quantify my pain?! Cheating is cheating is cheating, whether it happened once or one thousand times! My husband has been reading books on infidelity, I guess to help him.understand why he threw everything away for a vile slut! But when he talks about fog and compartmentalising and other ‘affair terms’ it only incenses my fury tenfold! I feel like he is using this stuff to let himself off the hook. He chose to cheat, I will not accept excuses! Don’t even get me started on his friends who egged him on! These friends have known me for years too, I can’t describe how utterly worthless it made me feel to know that this group of people who have been in my life for many years could stand back and allow my heart to be obliterated!
    I apologise for this long-winded comment, I guess the question I want to pose to you and your followers is this; is this anger normal after 3 months? Has anyone else had trouble trying to accept these affair terms ( affair fog etc)? Is there anyone else who DIDN’T experience ‘hysterical bonding’ ( I get physically ill at the thought of my husband touching me now)? And has anyone else decided that they just can’t get past the betrayal? I ask this last question because at my most vulnerable I think of how much I love my husband and what a good man he was..It makes me feel tremendously guilty that I want a divorce. But I know myself well enough to know that I just wouldn’t get over it, and I don’t want to spend my life trying to fix something that I had no part in breaking!
    Thank you for listening xx

    • Yes, i do maintain the blog (i have a post earmarked for later tonight) and i have read your comment. Thank you for posting it! I will reply once dinner is made and kids more settled so that i can afford you my best :)

  2. Hello again, I hope you’re doing well. Thank you for even reading my last comment, I know you’ve probably heard this a million times before but the only comfort I’ve had in this terrible ordeal (except my beautiful children of course) is knowing that other women have gone through this and have survived, whether they reconcile or not, they survived. Reading over my original comment I seem to be all over the place, so I thought I’d clarify my point a little better (as if any of us could possibly make sense of this mess!) Basically I am still so angry at my husband, I cannot even bear to be near him for fear that I would physically assault him. I am pursuing a divorce and he is pursuing reconciliation, even going to individual counselling. He says he will be remorseful no matter what the outcome of our marriage is. I still love him so much, but I know I will never forgive or trust him again, and I don’t want to spend my life wondering if and when he will do it again. I am so sick of people telling me not to make any decisions out of anger! How dare they?! Why didn’t anyone tell my husband to take some time to think before he made the decision that would alter our lives forever and obliterate my heart?! I feel like I am being painted as the bad guy now, because my poor little husband is SO remorseful and is humiliating himself trying to win me back. This isn’t a movie, he cannot write a poem and send me flowers and promise me the moon and stars and all will be forgiven. Ironically, the more he tries to win me back the angrier I feel! Because every time he tries to remind me of how much he loves me he simply tears the scab off the wound and reminds me of how he threw it all away to impress his immature friends (who have all tried to apologise too, their wives are utterly mortified at their behaviour, but alas none of their husbands actually cheated, so they get to look at me in pity) I wish I could just pack my kids up and disappear into the sunset, I feel like I will never heal here, especially now that everyone I know seems to be backing my husbands efforts to win me back. I don’t know how else to say it, he will NEVER win me back, I will never allow him to touch me (this point is extremely important to me, as I’ve read endless stories of this ‘hysterical bonding’, does every couple experience this, or are there others like me who wouldn’t let their WS touch them with a ten-foot bargepole?) If he is serious about working on himself and being a better man then why doesn’t he do it for himself? Don’t do it to impress me because it won’t work, he should do it for himself so that he never puts another woman through this heartache. This comment was supposed to be succinct and explanatory, but I see I’ve just rambled on again, lol. I hope you don’t mind, it just feels good to find a place where I can tell my true feelings and know that all who read it have been in the same boat. I feel bullied into reconciling, I’m told that I’m reacting out of anger and pride, that I ‘owe it’ to my family to give my husband another chance. But I gave him a chance, the day he vowed before God and everyone we love that he would honour and respect me forever. He promised me his fidelity and protection for the rest of our lives, and he couldn’t even make it to our 10th anniversary before he broke his vows, so it doesn’t bode well for the rest of our marriage does it? Please allow me to clarify, I am not judging anyone who chooses to reconcile, each of our stories are different and I would never be unsupportive of anyone going through this living hell! We all must do what is best for US, and in my case reconciliation is not possible. Has anyone else ever felt pressured into forgiveness and reconciliation? I can’t believe that this culture of victim-blaming and dismissing me of being angry and irrational!
    I hope this isn’t awfully inappropriate, but can I ask what you look like RMM? The reason I ask is because you once wrote that the OW made fun of your hairstyle, which I thought totally encapsulated the thought process of these whores, attacking their rival’s looks in order to make themselves feel so much more special! Also, I imagine you as the actress Mary McCormack, she was in a show called ‘In Plain Sight’. She has 3 kids, and she went through the humiliation of her husband being caught cheating on her with some young actress he was directing. She is also kick-ass! She guest hosted Chelsea Lately a few times and she was so frank and funny. And so that’s who I imagine you as, lol! :)

  3. Ah ok, I understand! I almost always use my phone for anything Internet-related (I call it a phone, my oldest child calls it ‘the extension of your hand’ lol, such a little wise-ass) I will try to open it next time I’m on my laptop, thank you for even taking the time to try to point me in the right direction. I read your entire blog in one night, obviously there are many blogs dedicated to this terrible situation, but there’s a realness and a very human element to your story. Your honesty is sometimes painful to read, but it’s also refreshing, like a bucket of ice water to the face! I don’t mean to sound kooky or weird, but when I read your blog I try to imagine myself absorbing some of your strength. I was especially affected by the entry where you told the story of making your husband visualise you cheating so that he would understand how much the words ‘I never stopped loving you’ hurt. In the violent hurricane in my mind and heart I know that reconciliation is not possible, and yet I still feel the need to really make my husband feel the pain he has caused me. Even though he seems deeply sorry, I just don’t think he truly grasps the magnitude of my pain. Apologies once again for this incessant rambling, I’ve had a few vodkas and I’m feeling very emotional (I’m reading your blog over again to calm me down)

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